Memoirs 

 

Wow, this year has been awful (And I take this from both a unilateral and personal standpoint). The Son of God. What a title to have. And to feel the weight of responsibility? What is the right thing to do? Nobody knows. Basically i’m trying to be as normal as possible. Not really talking about Dante’s inferno, or the events of the last 4 years, much less how my entire life got put on pause for pursuance of Christlikeness in extreme circumstance. Now that the dream is over and I've recovered successfully. I'm living like shit, perfectly safe, hiding from my duty as son. Who would want to inform the world of its certain downfall? Much less to preach the practice of Christianity when they're really is no perfect way and what does it matter? The fucking world is going to end if I don't stop it. Be good to others help where you can, be honest, care for others, no, that's just not enough. We need uniform action, to change the trejectory en-mass. Anyway, I crumbled under the pressure. I left halfway house after halfway house, even living under a house which was a prospective job site, thanks to my brother, who set me up with the location, in vain attempts to “ascend me”. That being the primary purpose for this year's activities, “ascension”. Ascension is the practice of becoming a celestial being it's a catch 22 tho, cuz once ur in space, ur not allowed back on planet, so that's "heaven"? I don't even know. well they'res 2 forms ascension. In-body ascension, and out-of body ascension. In-body ascension (which is what I currently have been able to ascertain this far in my journey with life. Is a little bit like telepathy, well, a lot like telepathy. Double speak is more accurate. Two different communication streams simultaneously occurring. Very rarely do they coincide with one another. Earth is a breeding ground for celestial beings, and our journey with not only God, but whoever our God may be, religion is but a template for celestial races and how they expect people of they're communities to act. As above, so below. A walk with life, if you will. 

I'm in a rut. And I'm going to have to start working a day job soon. Thank God. Keep my mind off of my debut to the world. Put some money in my pocket. Maybe get a moped, free travels baby. Working as a mover, I'm more of an athlete type than a mover, rather linemen belong moving and athletes belong runnin’. But with my record as it is I'm glad I have something lined up, 7 months of telepathically preparing myself and carefully drawing out plans have lead me to believe that this is not going to happen in any awesome way. People are going to call me a fraud, as some of the information I have is damning, it sucks, in this regard, well moreover than that the actual truth is damning. Truth is, life is about Love, prepare yourself as a man, get your woman, have a family, make in impact. Stand for something. 

I sit here, in my tent now. People just need to be attentive in their lives, and I'm glad I know that now. Angels exist, & Just becoming a part of a community and shooting your shot could land you with one. It's little stuff like this that people just don't know. We all are stuck inside of our anxiety-created shells and unopened to the idea that all we need to do is go out into the world and express ourselves. I have been going to AA for many years. I always thought the best way to meet a female was to just go get into a co-ed program of some kind. They'res tons of them now. IOP is everywhere. That's the best place for healthy people, no joke. 3 2 hour classes a week. Stuck in a room with females. Games, activities, chances to talk to folks,

 

I'm moving to the homeless shelter tomorrow morning. Proud of myself. No bills, no pressure, 3 meals a day. Having become an ascendent, the smallest things seem hard. Eating 3 meals a day, staying on track, gaining weight. Important things in the overall picture. It's like I've been reborn, as a newborn babe, and my entire life up this far has been uprooted, the stories that made me, me, are no longer acceptable. I walked Dante's inferno as some kind of billy-badass, dressed in grey. No one knew right from wrong. I defeated a hypnoist from a nation of devils called “inverted Andromeda” the biblical term may have been assyrians, or Babylonian, I'm unsure, but anyway, and it literally was the greatest display of faith ever. Swinging the Bible as a true sword using prophecy to both save situations and dispell the hypnists lies, freeing people stuck in his binds. Binds, of falsified records, imprisoning them in a web of deceit. For fear of false accusation and incriminating evidence he drew out of nowhere. I watched him implicate people for crimes, creating webs of lies, to puppet them around as he willed. A dark, black, malicious, foul soul, harvesting the energy of mortals. Energy vampire. They breed in the tunnel of methamphetamine, confusing their victims.

For life is about seizure, and claiming yours is your duty. The moment, the opportunity. 

 

I kissed a girl last night. We met at AA. God it was nice. She giggled at my jokes. And looked at me with her big eyes. The curvature of her eyes was so pleasant to gaze at, and when she smiled, her dimples showed :) . Earth is a pleasant place. And from the comfort of my tent I can honestly say, I'm going to get out more, be self reliant, and go about things in the right ways. I'm ready for my soulmate, but I've gotta say, this friends with benefits thing is really really appealing right now. After dealing with what I've dealt with, I have a wrecked and damaged emotional system, and positively no way to talk about what happened, I am just happy to have a real life girl right in front of me, one who is genuinely interested in me. My heart stopped, when she looked at the new dude, who owns a motorcycle, and I anticipate she will eventually leave me for him. She's 35, has kids, and I'm basically an 18 year old in 29 year old skin after all my memories became invalidated after the encounter with the devil and the creation of a system that will bring new prosperity to earth, my memory bank is full. Yes, life is strange, yes it is. I flexed and wagged my stuff around, talking about work, and how boss I am, and she did the same. We connected at a primal level. I wrapped my hands around her and it felt like a one newness I could get used to. Tomorrow I will rewrite this scene so you can actually be there. 

For the rest of the year I will journal about my day, I hope you enjoy the read.

 

Last night I decided to write about my day, and some of the things I've been experiencing this year. Last night I crossed a line in the sand. If I prove to do nothing else, journaling about my day should at least be possible. I can handle that, I can hold myself to account, were my thoughts. ill never forget the girl who originally put me on game, she was just laying it out there, another victim of circumstance. I'll never forget how she discribed the Marietta hidden underculter. “the Hobo brotherhood”. I laughed, even while writing this, mildly inside.

 

Well I moved into the homeless shelter and its basically more akin to an army’s barracks. Bunk beds, mess hall, lockers, communal showers. Not like that of which you see on t.v. . i.e. sleeping bags on the floors, flies buzzing around, malnourished people, that light jingle and humming in the background, it is far more humane. No, this is not ASPCA, this is MUST, and everyone here is clean, hard working gentlemen, in the next facility over they have families, and the families are happy. We all share a community space outside and it's rather nice. Fake grass, fake mulch, plastic tables. It looks like a human size Lego backyard. Some of the other guests and myself were determining if the plants were fake as well, to which we could not decide. The argument yielded no results. But it was lengthy, going so far as including many voters opinions. We decided to leave it open ended and appreciate the backyard. It really is something to appreciate. My bunk is bunk 37. I can't access it from the ladder and of course I'm on top. A pillar supporting the ceiling is located at the location of the bunk causing my specific bunk to be the only one with this malfunction. Several times I tried to climb a top the bunk in different methods, first, I tried, “the leap” to which- I nearly broke the frame of the bunk, then I tried “the tip toe” in which only one big toe can fit aside the pillar and strong toeeing my way up the bunk. That to my surprise, worked, but wasn't sustainable. On the rear end of the bunk lies two frame supports, not a ladder, and a nearly 3 foot jump, but it's the method I've chosen to use for my duration here. It's doable, hard to get down, but I can get down, and that's a blessing. It does remind me of the paralympics somewhat how I have to manage to slip a heel on the ladder and dianglanaly and avoid the next row of bunks as I ease my way down. 

 

I started work as well today and that was the highlight of my year. I'll just leave this at just one sentence because it's normal for me to have a job really. It's fulfilling work too, moving company, I definitely feel like I let my balls drop today. And that's the real purpose of work, is to express the fact that you have testosterone and are ready to use it. Provider. Yeah. Being a provider is literally the other part of being a man In my opinion. 

The breathalyzer line grows every time I look at it. Mandatory once a day. I could write an excerpt about this but I actually support it. I actually am a beer drinker by choice, but that'll have to wait until later. I'm glad there isn't a bunch of drunk people just posted up here. I'm really glad I made it out of the tent. I'm on my way to an apartment. Definitely at least 4 wheels. 

 

Oh and I likely lost my girlfriend today. She wanted to know more about me and I didn't know how to tell her so I just went ahead and sent her the excerpt of my journal and she hasn't responded since. Like my deepest fear is that I wouldn't be good enough for her. She did everything right during our date. I really really liked the way she looked at me while I was high on mushrooms. I spent all day running around to spots where she might be after many unanswered texts. I ended the night by friend zoning her. It's for the best. What an interesting way to get to know someone though, right? She offered me “mushrum gummies” available at the local smoke shop, 8000mg. We ate 1 pack each. And I saw her for who she truly was. And she saw me. Anyway, I fell hard, like a school boy idiot. Mostly was the mushrums talking most likely. Anyway, I'm glad it's over, but at least some good came out of it. I remembered what life is all about. Girls. 

 The following day I arrived at my usual hangout, “the zone”, Marietta GA. I usually hangout here. Live music, AA meetings, workout room, ping pong, couches, tv, and a open kitchen. If we're talking real, the zone is real. Anyway, after my encounter with the three devils, I wound up going a slight bit insane, trying to, if ever, explain what happened. Since then I have submitted myself to a life of keeping silent. It's just easier this way. 

 

It's been about a month now and I'm starting to realize just how fragile of a heart I have. Or cold? I don't know anymore. I gave a back massage to an older lady several days after I got to the homeless shelter and started this whole thing. “This whole thing” is the best way I could describe our relationship. I don't know what is right or wrong when it comes to matters of the heart, and truth be told, it either is, or it isn't. Anyway I came to find out a tragic story of her past, and synonymous with my own, I thought it would be a perfect thing. She was a lover, bouncing from family to family, giving googley eyes at kids, she was loved around here. Anyway, I didn't find out about her past until it was too late. I gave her a back massage and she got quite attached, I don't know if this is what I wanted or not when I originally gave her a friendly reminder that things aren't always so bad. Hell, I needed to feel loved too. After a few days of hanging out, it became clear this girl needed something other than a Hangout buddy or FWB, but rather a support system. There wasn't any feelings involved which is what startled me, I felt cold, like I had to cold shoulder her, and it hurt me inside, because I didn't want a relationship, and she fell pretty hard to me. I didn't really know how to handle the situation. What was the right thing to do? I should have just been honest, told her I wasn't into her like that. She lit up like a flashlight when she saw me though, and I couldn't find it in me. Her spirit hadn't changed though. Bright and bubbly, and I pray that she is in a better place now. One other fellow and I spent a night helping her situation because her 30 days was ending the following day. I'm so grateful she made it to a woman's support house. 

 

Note: don't start things unless I really like them.

It's hard to break it off. We did have a hangout on this little blanket outside and it was really nice to feel the warmth of a woman's womb and I had to choke her whilst it happened to get her to stay quiet.

 

I went to jail during the affair. 

Did you know that in area's of high homelessness there are actually tax-based traps to help support the residents of that community? Per-se - the McDonald's is closed and monitored parking lot. If someone goes on the property it's a automatic 15 days in jail. Each day the person is in jail, the county receives a small amount of money to house&feed them from the federal government. Now, whilst many government programs are directed at housing, feeding and redirecting these people ( a lot of it comes from church, charity and nonprofits as well) the government actually had to look out for the residents whose property values and livelihoods are affected by the situation. They then use this stipend to create parks and artwork and other things for the residents. Pretty cool to be a part of it. I actually served my 15 days and was amazed, I felt uplifted and well rested, ready to go as soon as I got out. I really needed that, a win-win really. Don't trespass there. Simple, but there is like a hoard of homeless people over here and the size is growing. I'm sure the county is freaking out. Theres a growing number camping in the woods too. 

 

Speaking of the inner workings of homeless/police combat there is a large commercial property next door and the police can't go there. So it works like this, actually, I know this because a friend of mine actually had given a presentation to the police, we met with d luetenet and 2 of his officers. My friend(this happened just before I started this journal) (this year has been strange) (really I don't even know if anything makes sense anymore) so my friend, who's camping in the woods illegally, schedules a meeting somehow with this luetenet and he has this huge proposal to clean up the leftover remnants of campers getting out of there. (Actually, in this regard, I legit left my tent erected with stuff in it, when I came to the shelter.) (There's a limit to how much they let you have) anyway I guess there's a growing number of abandoned tents and it's becoming a problem to the environment. He tells me to come with him.

The goal- to establish some kind of working relationship- with the police as some kind of liaison officer helping maintain cleanliness out there(I think) because I'm the one who said that. The proposal was excellently written and the problem was identified well. But the actual workings of the mission were very unclear to say the least. He invited me along. I went. On the walk to the meeting I was concerned that the mission statement was very unclear. Are we asking for funds? Are we requesting a team? As it turns out, we were asking permission to start a fundraiser in the area. My friend is like a conspiracy theorist type guy, but the police handled us welcomingly. 

 

I laughed my ass off when he started the proposal with “I've always had a problem with sobriety and staying clean” but I held it on because he had a very valid point, about mental health and the treatment of mental health, most people out there use because of mental health, anyway the way he said it, and he knew he messed up. You could hear it in his voice. It was like ‘did I really just like blurt that out’ And it was like the first sentence that came out so like the rest of the conversation was just the 3 cops sitting across the table informing us that they just can't be involved. 

As it turns out, the campsite is located on private property, commercially zoned, for sale. The police cannot go on private property, and the commercial property owners are like in California or something. They need to get permission to go on the property so it's sort of like a safe haven. Anyway he is a good man, he invited me to the tent in which I started this prologue, the following day. I spent only like 3 nights out there, then came here to the shelter where I learned more about the inner workings of the homeless problem. 

 

How did I wind up here? 

Well earlier this year I was trying to figure out how to tell the government that the world was slowly ending because of mismanagement, and that I have all the answers to all the problems and more. I debated going turning myself in to the FBI, for days I struggled with a story that would be believable enough to go straight to the top. See, here's the problem. I have top secret information that I would probably be killed if I just start spewing it. But basically this is the jist of it. The way technology works, celestial gods, (like Jesus and Goku lol jk or not) cannot interfere with an emerging planet, until they developed the technology on their planet on there own. And basically we just developed the “MOAB”. Anyway now that it's done, it's done. Cant be reversed. However, it's still not that bad. See in order to make it to become a real planet without time ending we have to have a one-world government. 

Anyway so I have been struggling with what to do with this information because technically I am qualified to ascend to the heavens. But each holy man is allowed one wife. So I basically decided against it for the time being until I find one. Is that shitty? I had a lot of time to think about it. So much so, I went homeless thinking about it. Anyway, I'm doing music now. I'm to make a fortune and find a good one, take her ass to heaven with me. Secretly. I'm going down as a normal guy. Just a musician. Anyway I created the NWO and I named it Infinity United. The best 100 years guaranteed. That's my claim to fame in the milky way. Earth has skyrocketed to the number 1 planet without question. A perfect lifetime for anyone on it. Infinity United baby.

There is so much dissarray going on in America nobody knows what's wrong or right. I'm in the same boat. 

 

The last few days have been great. Got a little work done, saved up almost enough for a moped. Got like 7 songs recorded. Just voice though, I have to pick either moped or FL studio. This monologue is an effort to communicate with the higher ups of my plan. I'm also doing music for the same reason. To be heard. So the plan that I settled on is simple. 

 

To get to the moon. If I can get to the moon, I can download the video of my battle with the devil (which is literally awesome) the footage is so compelling that I literally stop wrongdoers and sinners in there tracks, as well as much of the homosexual community turns straight after watching it. At one point I'm like slamming his head on the Bible and his ass is like bare after he was trying to poisoning me with estrogen and making a webcam for paying customers as he turns out straight people. Anyway I stopped him and gave him what he really needed. A friend. Anyway he was so bad he ended up turning into an energy vampire- can't do anything about it. It's 6 months long- over 12 hours a day of spiritual warfare. Basically it's a hit show on Netflix is how it starts, 4 years ago, I'm just like a really popular kid at rehab and I slowly start like finding myself engulfed in symbology and